PCS with Kids: Tears, Tantrums, and Tough Goodbyes

If you think PCS moves are stressful for you, try doing it with kids. Suddenly, the stress multiplies like privates when free pizza shows up in the barracks.

The Goodbye Game

Every PCS starts with the goodbyes. Friends, neighbors, classmates—it feels like you’re running a farewell tour. For kids, though, it’s not just “goodbye,” it’s the end of their little world. I’ll never forget watching my child hug their best friend so tightly you’d think they were deploying together.

Meanwhile, I’m standing there like, “Yep, new friends are coming. Trust me, this is just the first of many.” It’s hard, because you can’t really explain the military lifestyle to a kid who just wants things to stay the same.

Tantrums on the Road (and in the Sky)

Then comes the travel portion. Ever tried driving across the country with kids in the backseat? It’s like being stuck in a Humvee convoy—slow, loud, and someone always has to pee five minutes after you’ve pulled away from the gas station.

If you’re flying, good luck. Nothing tests your patience like explaining to a toddler why they can’t unbuckle during turbulence. Pretty sure my child thought they outranked the pilot that day.

The New Normal

Arriving at the new duty station is its own circus. Your kids are stressed, you’re stressed, and all anyone wants is to know where the Wi-Fi is. My child once asked if we could “PCS back” after a week at the new place—like it was a TDY and we’d just head home when the mission was done. If only, right?

What I’ve Learned

• Prep the kids early. The more time they have to process the move, the smoother it goes (well, smoother-ish).

• Keep traditions alive. Whether it’s a bedtime routine, Saturday pancakes, or a favorite toy—those little constants make the transition easier.

• Give them a voice. Let them pick their new room, help unpack boxes, or choose the first family outing. Even small choices make them feel like part of the mission.

• Embrace the chaos. Because, let’s be honest, no PCS goes 100% according to plan. (Sounds like every field exercise ever, right?)

The Silver Lining

Here’s the thing: as tough as PCS moves are on kids, they also teach them resilience, adaptability, and courage. Military kids learn how to make friends anywhere, adjust on the fly, and bounce back faster than most adults. Honestly, sometimes they handle it better than we do.

PCS’ing with kids isn’t easy—it’s exhausting, emotional, and full of moments where you wonder if you’re completely failing as a parent. But then you see them settling into the new house, making new friends, and proving once again that military kids might just be the toughest little troops out there.